More funny stuff from Lark News…

I think I used to go to church with this guy…Paul S.

Originally posted at Lark News

Man’s constant checks lead to complete incapacitation

BURLINGTON, N.J. — James Grant’s life is full of things he can’t do.
According to friends, Grant is always feeling a check in his spirit, second guessing himself and using Scripture to justify his inability to make decisions.
“He’ll say, ‘I think I’ll have a donut for breakfast. Wait, that would be gluttony,'” says one buddy. “So he’ll have oatmeal instead, then say, ‘But the Son of Man came enjoying life. I never get it right.’ That’s how James lives.”
Grant often finds himself paralyzed with indecision at crucial moments. Before making a big career choice recently, he was torn between seeking counsel or going it alone. Proverbs 11:14 says safety is found in a multitude of counselors, but the apostle Paul consulted no man before launching his ministry, Grant says.
“He sees both sides of every issue, but can’t find his way to a conclusion,” says a friend.
Grant ended up avoiding the choice altogether, letting circumstances dictate his future.
His mindset makes even simple tasks difficult. When a friend asked if Grant could help him put in a fence, Grant said, “No problem. Wait, that’s pride. In my own power I can do nothing.”
Friends have learned to counter his checks with balancing scriptures such as “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
“Yes, but be careful when you think you stand lest you fall,” Grant usually replies. •


One thought on “More funny stuff from Lark News…

  1. “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down, for the Lord upholdeth him with His hand.”

    Or even in the same breath: why would we fall if our steps are ordered by God? And how can we fall if he is holding us up?

    I guess I better sit still so I do neither. 🙂

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